I Still Love You
by awesome sauce 1996
Summary: It will eventually be a Time-Travel Fic. but at the moment the reader is reading two letters found by Scorpius and Rose, respectfully, who both still love each other to some extent. Rose has since moved on and has talked herself out of loving Scorpius and instead into loving Lysander, and is currently married to him and happy... M for language and just to be safe.
1. Dear Scorpius

Kind of came to mind after a fight I had with my best guy friend, who I do have a lot of feelings for but he doesn't like me back any more than a friend. So to get over him, I'm dating my boyfriend, who YES I DO LIKE. But I'm not sure why this came to mind... I blame the one dream I ended up having, where my best guy friend ended up kissing me in front of my boyfriend, which by the way I would need to be really drunk and so would he if that were to happen.

Rated: M just to be safe. I highly doubt I will do ANYTHING involving sex but ya never know as my mind is fucked up thanks to many of my lovely friends.

Pairing: Rose/Scorpius

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

* * *

_June 1, 2023_

_Dear Scorpius,_

_If you're reading this then I followed through and gave this to you at Graduation. If you're reading this, and you followed my instructions, we have been out of touch for almost a year now. If you're reading this, there is a good chance that I have moved on. If you're reading this... we clearly weren't meant to be in each others lives._

_First Year, two eleven year olds sit next to each other in Potions. They are supposed to be mortal enemies. They are supposed to hate each other. But She hates that her family tries to control her life. She hates that she can't have the friends she wants. So when he speaks to her for the first time and introduces himself, she can tell they will be friends. She opens up to him and he to her. They quickly become friends, against her family's wishes._

_Second Year, two twelve year old best friends of rivaling houses sit side by side in every class they have together. They talk every chance they get. She tells him of everything that happens to her and he tells her everything that happens to him. They fight off the bullies, the kids who dislike their friendship, together. They become a team and know each other inside and out._

_Third and Fourth Year, they loose touch as they are consumed in their own academics and don't have a chance not even during the holidays to see or talk to each other. Except briefly in Fourth Year, for all of ten minutes._

_Fifth Year, she sits by herself in a compartment on the train. They both are fifteen. He asks if he could join her and she nods allowing him to sit across from her. She can't remember who he is. But knows she knows him. He looks at her and says her name as if asking if that is really her. She answers but has a confused look on her face. He introduces himself and her eyes light up and they hug briefly before launching themselves into a full on conversation of what has been their lives the past two years. Fifth Year, they make a point in seeing each other everyday. By December... by December, she starts to have feelings for him. By May she tells him. But he dismisses it and makes it clear that he only sees her as a friend._

_Sixth Year comes and they are closer than ever. She still likes him, no loves him more than he would ever know. When it's time for the Sixth Years' Dance in April, she doesn't have a date so she asks him to go with her. He takes her. To her it's the best thing possible. It's the happiest moment of her school years. But the Monday after, they talk of the Dance and she knows he still only thinks of her as a best friend. May of her Sixth Year is when during the day she smiles and laughs because he is her friend, but at night she cries because that's all they would ever be. She smiles and laughs to hide the hurt of him not liking her any more than a best friend._

_Seventh Year comes and one of her guy friends of Ravenclaw and of the same year asks her out. She says yes. She knows she still likes her best friend, but she wants to give her guy friend a chance. She wants to get over the young man that all she ever does is cry about. So her and guy friend start to date... his name is Lysander. She still cries over her best friend, but slowly those tears for him start to disappear. Her actions around him still signal that she still likes him, but they also signal that she likes Lysander as well. Her feelings start to frustrate her. She lays awake at night wondering if she is cheating on Lysander if she still has feelings for her best friend. She wonders why Lysander and her Friend are able to get along but then if she is nearby everything crumbles and her friend excuses himself and leaves her by herself. But if it's just her and her Friend, he gives her the body language that he likes her. If she confronts it he tells her he only likes her as a friend._

_Seventh Years' Dance rolls around in May and she is still with Lysander. She looks around the dance to see if her friend came, but he is no where to be found. He hates dances. She thinks to herself. He would never come to one unless I asked him to join me... and you didn't. So he wouldn't be here. Stop being hopeful to see him. She scolds herself as she dances with Lysander._

_Have you ever hated somebody so much that you wish they would just leave and never come back... but yet, loved them so much, you knew you'd die if they did? I have. I hated you for all those awkward conversations when Lysander was around. I hated you for making me feel the way I did about you... I still do actually. But at the same time, I need you around because I love you. I know I love you but you will never love me like that. You will only ever consider me as a friend. I accept that, and sometimes you must let the one you love walk away so they can be happy..._

_Scorpius, one day you might love me as I have loved you. One day you might think of me as I have thought of you. One day you might cry for me as I have cried for you. One day you might want me... but Scorpius, that will be the day that I won't want you. That will be the day I don't love you as I once did. That will be the day I don't think of you as I once did. That will be the day that all my tears for you are dried and my pillow is no longer wet from how much I have cried for you. Scorpius, you let the one girl who only ever saw the good in you slip away. You let her walk out of your life. You let her go. You let her slip out of your grasp._

_I'm writing this in early June of our Seventh Year. By the time you read this, there is a good chance I will be long over you. I got accepted into Salem Medical Academy in the States, I'm leaving after Graduation._

_The Girl Who Once Loved You,  
Rose Nymphadora Weasley_


	2. Dear Rose

_June 20, 2023_

_Dear Rose,_

_I believe if you are reading this, then we have fallen out of touch and you chanced across this letter. I believe that you haven't gone through your Potions Book since Graduation. I believe that if you are reading this, then you have long since moved on... I believe if you are reading this then you might have a family, and have kids that have found this letter in your old Potions Book. I hope you have not forgotten me, Rose. I know I have not forgotten you, I could never forget the one person who looked past my name and the things my family has done and still want to be friends with me. I could never forget the eleven year old girl who I first spoke to. I could never forget anything. You are, Rose, the one person I have loved and probably will always love somewhere deep down... I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you. I'm sorry for not taking my chances when I had them. But it's too late now. But I'll tell you everything..._

_First Year a boy meets a girl who quickly becomes his best friend. They protect each other from her family's harsh words about heir friendship. They protect each other from the bullies._

_Second Year, he tells her about his family and she about hers. They open entirely to each other and thinks he found the greatest person in the world. The one who doesn't judge him by what his family has done._

_Third and Fourth Year he doesn't see her at all. His family has him busy and he is unable to even write to his friend. He believes he lost the one person that could have cared less about who he is. So he consumes himself in his academics, as does she._

_Fifth Year he walks the train trying to find a compartment to sit in when he comes across HER by herself. He asks her if he could sit and she nods and he sits across from her. They fall into conversation of what was going on the past two years. They both admit they never wrote because in part they didn't have time... but more or less because they were waiting for the other to write first. In December she admits to him that she has a crush on him. He didn't admit it back because he was terrified that if things went wrong everything they had would be ripped apart._

_Sixth Year the two are closer than ever. He loves her more than he would ever let show. When the Sixth Year's Dance in April is around the corner, and she doesn't have a date she asks him to go with her. He does. The feeling of holding her while on the dance floor is something he would never forget. Monday they talk about the dance. He refuses to show his true feelings for her, and knows she thinks he only likes her as a friend. In May she looked happy, and started to show the body language that she no longer liked him like she once did. His heart breaks as he realizes that he is loosing his chance with her. He still doesn't tell her that... he loves her._

_Seventh Year is when a Ravenclaw asked her out, but he hated the guy. He hated the fact that she still went along with going out with this Ravenclaw, when he knew that she still had feelings for him, the Slytherin Prince. But he remained quiet. He gives her every hint that he likes her more than a friend. But when she confronts him about it, he lies and tells her he only sees her as his best friend... nothing more, nothing less. Inside he is dying at the fact he is letting her slip away. If she had only acted upon his body language towards her, she would have found out... he loved her. Seventh Year Dance came and he didn't go. He hates Dancing, just as much as she does maybe a little more. But he still refuses to go._

_I wish I had told you in person, Rose. I wish I had the courage in Fifth Year to have you as my girlfriend. I wish I had the courage to tell you: _I Love You,_In Sixth Year. I wish I had told you in Seventh Year I loved you. I wish that at Graduation, I had told you. I wish at Graduation... I would grabbed you into a tight hug, buried my face into your shoulder, told you I love you, and kissed you to prove I meant what I said. But I didn't. I never did. You're slipping away from me, Rose. I think I already lost you in that respect._

_True Love is not about the hugs and kisses, the 'I love you's' or 'I miss you's', but about the chills that hit every part of your spine when you think about her. Rose, you are and always have been my dream. I shouldn't have let you go. I should have told you I loved you every chance I had. I should have kissed you Sixth Year before, during, or after the dance to show you I loved you. To show you how much I wanted you._

_Now... Now all we are is friends. Now all we are is strangers. I'm sure we haven't talked in months, maybe years. I would have been waiting for you to write to me... and knowing you, you would be waiting for me to write to you..._

_I love you,_

_Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy_


	3. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
2033

Rose and Lysander Scamander laughed at each other, well until their fiver year old daughter Sarah came down stairs with a old looking letter in her hand. "Mummy, what it say?" Sarah asked as she handed the unopened envelope to Rose.

Rose looked at the envelope and no recognition of the handwriting appeared. She opened it and read it silently to herself... it was a letter from her Hogwarts Best Friend, Scorpius Malfoy. She hadn't been in her Potions Book for years, and had given it to Sarah, who had found an interest in Potions while at her mother's the one day. The only rule was that she had to be with Grandma in order to play with potions. But Rose had allowed Sarah to have the potions book since she liked looking at the colors the potions could make.

"It's a letter from Mummy's old friend. Nothing that concerns you, Sarah, so you don't need to know what it says." Rose said softly and Sarah nodded understandingly and hurried away.

"Which old friend?" Lysander asked as he sipped his tea.

"Malfoy." Was Rose's only response. She remembered the letter she had given him and she remembered how she loved Scorpius, and the sudden pain of him not telling her broke her heart again. She excused herself telling Lysander that the laundry should be done so she headed out of the room and to the laundry room. She set the letter down and looked at it again. She couldn't believe that after all that time she loved him... She still loved him, now that she was thinking about it. But she knew she loved Lysander... she talked herself into it, so she had to love Lysander right? She talked herself into the fact that Scorpius was just a stupid crush. That she really loved Lysander, and that she had never loved Scorpius.

"You love him." A voice said behind her. She only recognized the voice as someone who was dead and turned around to see her grandfather standing there.

"You're dead." She said.

"True. But many of us in the other life have talked Death into allowing us to do this." He was a ghostly figure, almost fully there but still slightly transparent that she could just barely make out the clothes being washed by magic behind him.

"Do what?" Rose asked.

"We talked Death and the Fates into allowing a second chance. Rose, you had the true love, but you walked away from it." Arthur spoke softly.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked confused.

"No time to explain, Rose. The Fates allowed me to come to you and warn you. Everything you have here will disappear and you will be sent back to being your sixteen year old self. To you it will seem like all one messed up dream. Rose, this is real. If you want to have a life with Scorpius all this will be is a dream. If you still choose Lysander though, you will be brought back this time. This day, and exactly where you are now. With every feeling you already have. You will be stuck knowing you could have had him but let him go."

"He is just going to deny it. Like he did all those years ago." Rose whimpered as she felt tears sting her eyes and she took a deep breath.

"I don't think he will let you get away a second time, Rose." She saw him start to fade but heard someone yelling, "ROSE! ROSE! ROSIE!"

Rose sat bolt upright and cried out when her head struck something and heard someone hiss in pain. "Jesus, Rose." She heard Roxanne hiss at her as she saw a sixteen year old Roxanne Weasley holding her forehead as she wandered off to the bathroom.

"Roxie, I had the strangest dream... we are in Sixth Year right?" Rose asked as she too held her head.

"Sixth Year, Rosie. And what kind of dream?" Roxie asked as she cast a spell that fixed her hair and she started to brush her teeth. Rose did the same as she thought.

"Well... it's complicated... forget I even mentioned it." Rose replied as she brushed her teeth. Roxie nodded and the two finished getting ready before heading out of the Gryffindor Tower and down to Breakfast. It was Saturday, or so Rose found out when Roxie threw on jeans and _The Weird Sisters_ t-shirt that she and Rose had bought two months prior when they went to a concert. Rose threw on Jeans, boots, and her spare Gryffindor Quidditch Jersey.

She sat down in her normal spot and conversed with her cousin until she saw Scorpius walk in and he came and sat down next her. She quickly engaged in a conversation with him, just like she remembered doing with him all of her Hogwarts Years. But her memory must have failed her because she didn't remember him being this talkative with her. Instead she remembered him to be more on the quiet side and that she would do most of the talking.

"So, got any plans for the Christmas Holiday?" Scorpius asked.

"I'm planing on going home with my family." Rose smiled, she remembered doing that her sixth and seventh year. But saw his smile fade slightly.

"Oh... well, I was just going to stay here in Hogwarts. Dad and Mum have been arguing." Scorpius shrugged. She remembered that. His parents split up during their seventh year, and his mother remarried three months later, if that was still going to happen she had no idea.

"Oh... sorry to hear that, Scorp." She said as they went to eating.

"So, Rose, care to join Fred and I later?" James asked her.

"What do you plan on doing?" Rose asked with a devious smirk at her two cousins.

"Heard that last night a couple of pricks in Seventh Year Ravenclaw tried going after one of our little Gryffindors... We were thinking Dung Bombs in the Ravenclaw common room, but we need someone really smart to get us in." James smirked.

"I think I can help you with that." Rose smirked before looking at Scorpius, "Might need some help solving some riddles. Care to join us?"

"Gladly." Scorpius nodded with a smirk that matched Rose's. The four slipped out of the Great Hall and headed for the Ravenclaw Tower.

"So, Malfoy, ready for the Quidditch Match later? Gryffindor is so kicking your Slytherin Arse." James teased.

"I think you're making a mistake there, Potter, as we do have your brother as our Quidditch Captain." Scorpius teased back.

"Just don't don't kill Rosie when you two are trying to kill each other with the Bludger." Fred chuckled.

"I could never kill Rosie, who else could I compete with like that?" Scorpius laughed as he slung an arm around Rose's shoulders with a cocky grin on his face.

They came to the door where the Eagle asked, "There are four brothers in this world that were all born together. The first runs and never wearies. The second eats and is never full. The third drinks and is always thirsty. The fourth sings a song that is never good. Who are they?"

"Water, Fire, Earth, and Wind." Scorpius replied after a good minute of the four of them standing there puzzled. Rose looked at him, trying to figure out how he managed to get the answer before him but all the response was, was a simple smirk. The smirk she loved and hated at the same time. The door swung open and James and Freddie quickly rushed inside and set up the Dung Bombs before the four of them went running for cover away from the Tower. But Rose felt Scorpius's hand grab her arm and lead her down a different path than the one that James and Freddie were taking. She ended up in the Room of Requirement, and when she turned around she looked up at him.


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
2021

"What do you want, Malfoy?" She asked, she felt her heart break she knew after she had read the letter that he loved her. But she also knew that there was no way he would ever admit that he loved her.

"What is wrong with you, Rose?" He asked looking worried and angry.

"What are you talking about!?" She asked defensively.

"You know what I'm talking about. You're acting so different around me today compared to every other day we would talk and hang out."

"I don't know what your talking about!"

"You do to!"

"Do not!"

"You think I don't notice shit? You think I don't notice when you suddenly would much rather be hanging out with your cousins rather than hanging with me? You think I didn't notice how awkward you were during breakfast? Rose, that's not you. What's wrong?"

"YOU! You're my problem!" She saw him wince at her words but she continued, "I _like_ you, and yet you still act like its _nothing_! You give me every signal saying that you like me back then you deny it and tell me we're 'Just Friends'. YOU'RE MY PROBLEM!" She finished by screaming at him.

He took on a defensive stance, one that was so familiar to her. They were always in arguments or competing with each other. She was the most competitive with him, and when she saw the defensive look she instinctively took up hers. "I'm the problem!? Then why are you still friends with me Rose!?" He spat out at her.

Rose refused to show the flinch or the fact that she felt so broken inside. "I HATE YOU!" She screamed at him when he took a step closer. He was so close, their bodies were inches from each other and her back was up against the wall. He was six foot two, she was five foot five... She glared up at him, "I wish I had never met you! I wish you had moved! I wish I had never fallen for you!" She spat out before shoving him, but he barely moved. In seconds she was confused at to what had happened.

A hand was holding both her wrists above her head, one hand was on her hip, and he was kissing her. He was kissing her like Lysander had never kissed her before. She pushed that aside. This wasScorpius_. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy _kissing her. Not Lysander. He kissed the same as if he was asking her to a challenge or they were trying to kill each other during a Quidditch Match. She found herself pressing her lips back, turning the kiss into a fight for dominance the second she allowed him to slip his tongue into her mouth.

She was pushed harder against the wall, and heard herself beg him in between kisses to let her wrists go with a simple 'please' repeated over and over again. She felt his hand let go of her wrists and it landed on her other hip, pulling her closer to him to deepen the kiss. Her fingers tangled into his bleach blonde hair. She felt his grip tighten as he lifted her off the floor, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her harder against the wall. Her fingers trailed down his shirt feeling the muscles underneath from years of being on the Quidditch Team and years of being a Beater for the Slytherin Team. Her fingers found the buttons on his shirt as his found the hem of her sweatshirt. He suddenly let her down from his waist, and pulled away from the kiss. "We shouldn't be doing this, Rose." He panted as he rested his forehead against her's.

Realization of what they could have done formed in Rose's mind and she replied, "I know... Thank you... for stopping." She whispered and wrapped him into a hug, burying her head into his chest and he hugged her tighter. "I still like you..." She whispered into her chest.

She thought she heard him barely whisper, "I love you, Rose." But couldn't be sure and she wasn't going to ask questions. When he pulled away he apologized for his behavior saying that he shouldn't have acted that towards her, before leaving her standing there in the Room of Requirement staring after him. When the door closed she said, "But I still love you..."

The rest of the day was spent in a haze for Rose. She hung out with her cousins and brother. If Scorpius entered the room she tried to make friendly conversation but he would turn to Albus and talk animatedly with him about whatever it was they talked about. By Mid-Day the Match began and Rose was oblivious to everything else except trying to knock Scorpius off his broom with the Bludger. But she could tell he was doing the same with her.

Gryffindor caught the Snitch and managed to win by three points... Three points. Gryffindor Hosted the Inter-House winning party. Slytherin showed up and Rose saw Scorpius. He made his way to her just as her favorite song to dance to came on. Lily Luna Potter and Lorcan Scamander were playing DJ, like they always did at the Inter House Parties. _All About Us_ by He is We came on and she looked at Scorpius and grinned. He rolled his eyes as she dragged him out to dance with her.

She knew he hated dancing. But so did she, however she knew how to dance unlike him. Every-time she taught him how to dance. The room fell silent and it became just the two of them on the dance floor. Everyone was watching as she taught him the same way her mother taught her how to dance with the Yule Ball steps. He stepped on her feet once but for the most part he was quick at understanding. And she could tell he was becoming braver because he pulled her closer and suddenly he was leading and she was following. He moved them in fast, triumphant circles and spun her out to spin her back in. They became more at ease and slowly started dancing faster, even though the music wasn't fast. She found herself smiling as he spun her out again and on the last few beats of the song he pulled her into him and kissed her.

The entire school saw. Her family was frozen in place. When he pulled away it was clear that the entire school was holding their breath. Rose smirked at him and put her hands behind his head, tangling her fingers into his wind blown hair and forcing him down into another kiss. She heard the entire school erupt into screams of happiness and clapping and cheers and some even gave wolf-whistles at them. She heard Lily put on another song, this time it was Scorpius's favorite: _What If_ by Five for Fighting.

He led her in this dance, and they were dancing fast and up beat. But this time they weren't the only ones dozens of other couples joined them on the dance floor so it wasn't just them any more... Scorpius slowly slipped her out of the main room in the Room of Requirement and into one of the side rooms. "Really?" She asked looking at him.

"What?"

"You had to kiss me in front of everyone?" She asked and saw his smirk in the pale light she only smiled and shook her head at him and headed for the door when a hand grabbed her's and had her turn around to face him.

"If I told you I loved you... what would you say?" Scorpius asked looking her in the eye.

"If I told you that you have caused me pain by lying to me that you had no feelings for me, what would you say?" Rose responded.

She saw the hurt look in his face before he said, "I would say I'm sorry. I would say that I was afraid of ruining what we had. I would say that you're the only girl I have ever loved."

"I would tell you that I love you. I _still_ love you." She whispered.

"I'm thankful for this chance, Rose. You don't know how much I loved you and let you slip away anyway."

"If you love me, prove to me you love me. If not, say the word... and I'll go back to forgetting how you ever made me feel about you."

Rose watched Scorpius's face closer before his lips were suddenly on hers, and his tongue asking for permission. She granted it and will the feelings she had for him into the kiss. To show him how much she actually did love him. This time she pulled away first. When he looked at her like he was nervous that he made a bad move she whispered, "I don't want to rush this. I don't want to loose you. I don't want to let you go... not again. If we continue this we will rush everything."

"Rose, we basically waited two life times."

"And now we are sixteen again. Scorpius, one wrong move... that's all it takes. One time is all it takes for me to end up pregnant. One time and me pregnant for my family to want to murder you and yours would want to murder me. Scorpius, I don't want to risk that. I don't want to end up like that. I want it to be when the time is right. Not just because this is our chance, and we are getting everything we every had for each other out."

"I'm not letting you go this time. I'm not letting you slip away, Rose." Scorpius whispered as he brought a hand up that gently moved a hair out of her face. "I ended up doing a little... looking into the past of my soul I guess you could say, before I had this chance... Rose, this is our chance. In total this is our fourth chance. The very first chance we had was when we were nothing but Muggles. Our families were mortal enemies, and we fell in love. My former self thought you were dead before someone could warn him and he killed himself. You awoke and saw that I had killed myself and you did the same vowing we would be together in another life. I still love you and I'm not letting you go this time."

"If we were meant to be together, Scorp, wouldn't we have been together the first time if it is so similar to this?" Rose asked looking up at him. Rose remembered how when she was little that in her dreams a beautiful young woman would come and teach her many things. The woman's voice was always in the back of her mind. Sometimes the woman would take control. The Woman had introduced herself as: Juliet Capulet. Juliet had taught Rose how to dance, be a lady, and how to act properly if at an important meeting. Juliet had taught her that she was going to lead her to their soul-mate. That they had tried to be together twice before, and this was their third life with which to try and be together.

"Funny that you said that, Rose. No. In that time our families were so hateful to each other you were already betrothed to another man. We eloped and kept it quiet, but I had to run because I was in danger. When I returned you appeared to be dead. Or so everyone thought. I killed myself after inwardly vowing we would be together in another life. When you awoke, you found me dead by poison next to you. You killed yourself, inwardly vowing we would be together in another life. Rose, if this isn't the life we are meant to be together, then which one is?" Rose instantly knew that Scorpius was the man that Juliet had fallen for centuries before. That Scorpius held the soul of Juliet's soul-mate.

"This one." Rose whispered and leaned up to kiss him. Before asking, "How did you find that much out about yourself?"

"I found out about the first one in a dream. My former self was insistent that I had to find the woman who held the soul of his lover so he could be finally at ease. Every time I was around you, Rose, his voice would tell me that you were her. I refused to listen but I was so drawn to you. Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about." Scorpius's eyes were pleading.

Rose looked up at him, "I know who my former self is and who she keeps pleading for me to be with. But Scorpius, do you know her name?"

Rose watched as it appeared that Scorpius seemed to be fighting over control about something in his head. She watched his eyes grow darker with something that seemed so familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it. Scorpius lower his head to rest on her shoulder and as he breathed out he said the name of the woman that Rose held the soul for, "Juliet."

Rose felt the small voice that had once taught her how to dance and how to act properly and how to be a lady in her dreams suddenly take over. Rose was thrown to the back of her mind and she had no control over her actions or words. But knew what she was doing. Her hand snaked up to cup his face and lift his head gently from her shoulder before pressing her lips to his. His reaction was in an instant. His hand on her hips tightened and he slowly backed her against the door where she felt her back hit. She felt him lift her off her feet as the kiss became more and more intense.


End file.
